No one but a person you love has the ability to penetrate your heart without piercing your skin
How could such an emotion of great anticipation result in heartbreak
If this is what love is, I truly don’t want to feel this ever again
I am trying to build and reconstruct myself to a point where I can look at myself and see who I really am
Yet my understanding of why he would not want me befuddles me
Having great knowledge of yourself contributes much to the foundation of mental stability
Especially in a time where your mind is making decisions based on emotions and feelings
I am internally hurt by the position I have allowed myself to be in
Wishing that I would wake up in the morning and this situation would all be over
Or waking up to him laying next to me, holding me in his arms as to never wanting to let go
Thoughts are perplexed and emotions run wild while I try to figure out my next move
Prayer goes a long way when your focus is on whom you’re praying to
But some odd reason I can’t seem to shake this bit of hope
I have this small sense of optimism that he will show up at my door
Even just as a friend to say, I am here and take me into his arms to embrace me
Its unfortunate that holding on to something you thought was genuine
Turns out to be the very opposite nature of the original thought
But I’m beginning to learn something new about myself
I am learning that I can love and have feelings
I am learning that overtime, the headaches will go away
The last nights of no sleep will become restful
The lack of appetite will increase again
And the restoration of your heart will begin
But until then,
These tears will continue to shed
And the shortness of air circulating in my lungs will continue to suppress my breathing
The seclusion of my being will stay in the presence of myself
Until my moment comes where there is no longer love
Until there is no longer passion
…and Until there is no longer a yearning for his existence in my life
When that day comes, in which it will soon be
I pray that his heart is whole as I will be no longer willing to give him mine
Because my heart has been restored and meant to be gifted to someone else.
