Like I said, its all a game…its just understanding individual’s purposes and knowing what role they play in your life. I can honestly say that I have played many of games, but to name a few…I’ve played
“The Older Guy Game”
“The Rich Guy that Always Have to Tell You What They Got Game”
“The too intelligent for your own good Game”
“The boring and lose my attention fast Game”
“The expect women should chase after men Game”
“The good, the bad and the ugly in bed Game”
“The I’m going to take you away from your man Game”
“The liars and the cheaters Game”
“The I’m a church goer but trying to have sex with me on the first date Game”
“The Insecure Game”
“The don't pickup the phone Game”
“The stand me up Game”
“The can I come over at 4am booty call Game”
“The she was just my friend Game”
I can go on and on with listing the names of many games that I've played. And quite frankly, I'll admit that I've lost a few hands, thinking that maybe this time, I was playing with my partner...no real games just something to keep things interesting. Yet, time and time again, has that shown it's true colors and revealed itself to be the very nature of a strategic approach game…as I was placed in a category and I didn’t know my role…caused me to become confused and lose the battle. Who would have thought that I would have lasted this long out here in the field? One would have assumed that bitterness and defensiveness would have taken control and allowed me to be closed away from any new opportunities, new games that is.
Like I said, in dating, it's always a game, whether you are playing it with someone or solitary...either way, my suggestion would be to determine the purpose of these individuals that come into your life…are they “partner” candidates or do they need to be categorized. If neither, dispose them and move on while leaving that “partner” position vacate until that one person decides that they want to fill the position…but before YOU determine if they are going to stay….LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Men of many catergories - which one are you?
The purpose of “I just want to screw you”…a guy that comes along, playing the game with you and you notice that all he wants to do is have sex with you and aren’t willing to give you the love or attention that all women so often desire. If you so decide, and believe that his dick is worth keeping around, place that guy in this category. You make the rules and let him know that this is an understanding to which no feelings will be exchanged but I need you to make me feel good from time to time. If you can handle this arrangement, then let the categories begin, until you’re ready to replace him. As in all the categories, if they prove to be a potential candidate for the “partner” role, then maybe we can reconsider some things and move him over to the recycle bin.
The “recycle” bin is for all the men that you have categorized and given another use for that has demonstrated they are may have the tools to serve as your “partner”. These are the guys that have King like qualities but are still in Prince development mode. You kinda like them, but they haven’t made the right moves yet to convince you that they want to play on the same side with you. However, if one day they do prove themselves to be a King, they have the potential to be that King and partner with his Queen that they have found in you. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I believe that all guys are good guys, but it all depends on who they want to be good to. And if being good to you is not being demonstrated towards you, then clearly you’re not the one that he wants. If he categorizes you, then you should be able to determine which one that you’re in, if not, you may be in Checkmate or need to fold this hand before you end up getting your feelings hurt. If you don’t know the role you play, it is easy for you to lose the game.
But then you have this “friends” category that so many guys in up in. These are the guys that you find that they are not compatible with you, but they treat you really nice, but there is something about them that just don’t match up with you. Whatever that reason may be, they can’t hold the “partner” role but you believe that they should still remain in your life…in this game that is, then move him to this category and allow the blessings of great restaurants, cool conversations, and fun hang outs to encompass you. Like I said, all guys are good guys, its just who they want to be good to…and now I add to say, all good guys are not for you…so don’t jump on the first one that comes along as they may not be the equally yoked partnership that plays by the same rules that you do.
And finally, you have the “disposable” trash can, and this is just that. The ones that come along and right off the back you know dang gon well that this person has no business being in your life for any purpose or reason. It could be the married man that’s been trying to make you the side chick, it could be the ex-boyfriend that has a new girlfriend but wants you to remain in his life because of history you shared, it could be the guy that smacked you upside your head once before, it could be that boss that’s been trying to persuade you to come into his office after hours, it could be a list or variety of different things, yet and still, they don’t belong in the same league with you and they should be disposed of. These are the guys that can cause more harm and damage than to bring you happiness and joy…as in winning any game…the main focus and prize is to obtain happiness and joy.
This happiness should be shared with the one that you call “partner”, the one that has fought this battle with you, loved you unconditionally even when you cut him with a spade when he was winning the hand. This is the person that strategized with you to determine how you both were going to win, leaving only the King and his Queen on the board. This is the person that remained in the “partner” seat because he gave you no reason to place him in a category. His pursuit of you demonstrated that he only wanted to be with you and you felt the same for him. It’s a beautiful thing when this occurs, a friendship develops, you understand what moves each other is going to make even before they do it, you can look at them in the face and know if they are working with something good or if you need to pick up the slack where he is lacking…this is the person that you take every where you go, because you don’t want to risk the possibility of losing a game with another random person because you know this person is going to win the game with you….this is that king that has king qualities and knows his role…because now you’re official partners.
The “recycle” bin is for all the men that you have categorized and given another use for that has demonstrated they are may have the tools to serve as your “partner”. These are the guys that have King like qualities but are still in Prince development mode. You kinda like them, but they haven’t made the right moves yet to convince you that they want to play on the same side with you. However, if one day they do prove themselves to be a King, they have the potential to be that King and partner with his Queen that they have found in you. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I believe that all guys are good guys, but it all depends on who they want to be good to. And if being good to you is not being demonstrated towards you, then clearly you’re not the one that he wants. If he categorizes you, then you should be able to determine which one that you’re in, if not, you may be in Checkmate or need to fold this hand before you end up getting your feelings hurt. If you don’t know the role you play, it is easy for you to lose the game.
But then you have this “friends” category that so many guys in up in. These are the guys that you find that they are not compatible with you, but they treat you really nice, but there is something about them that just don’t match up with you. Whatever that reason may be, they can’t hold the “partner” role but you believe that they should still remain in your life…in this game that is, then move him to this category and allow the blessings of great restaurants, cool conversations, and fun hang outs to encompass you. Like I said, all guys are good guys, its just who they want to be good to…and now I add to say, all good guys are not for you…so don’t jump on the first one that comes along as they may not be the equally yoked partnership that plays by the same rules that you do.
And finally, you have the “disposable” trash can, and this is just that. The ones that come along and right off the back you know dang gon well that this person has no business being in your life for any purpose or reason. It could be the married man that’s been trying to make you the side chick, it could be the ex-boyfriend that has a new girlfriend but wants you to remain in his life because of history you shared, it could be the guy that smacked you upside your head once before, it could be that boss that’s been trying to persuade you to come into his office after hours, it could be a list or variety of different things, yet and still, they don’t belong in the same league with you and they should be disposed of. These are the guys that can cause more harm and damage than to bring you happiness and joy…as in winning any game…the main focus and prize is to obtain happiness and joy.
This happiness should be shared with the one that you call “partner”, the one that has fought this battle with you, loved you unconditionally even when you cut him with a spade when he was winning the hand. This is the person that strategized with you to determine how you both were going to win, leaving only the King and his Queen on the board. This is the person that remained in the “partner” seat because he gave you no reason to place him in a category. His pursuit of you demonstrated that he only wanted to be with you and you felt the same for him. It’s a beautiful thing when this occurs, a friendship develops, you understand what moves each other is going to make even before they do it, you can look at them in the face and know if they are working with something good or if you need to pick up the slack where he is lacking…this is the person that you take every where you go, because you don’t want to risk the possibility of losing a game with another random person because you know this person is going to win the game with you….this is that king that has king qualities and knows his role…because now you’re official partners.
Let the Games begin! (part 1)
Dating is a game, awaiting to see who folds first..
Who gives up the goods and show their cards.
Unfortunately, when you show what your working with, your opponent has the ability to toy with you, play with your emotions and completely make you believe that they are trying to help you win the game. I have been in this game for a long time now…and finally I have developed a new strategy. This strategy can be used for both men and women…but I’m a women, so here is my perspective…
My new strategy consists of categories. Think of it this way…
When you’re dating, the initial interest starts with someone that you are mainly focused on
Thinking in the beginning that they are all about you and their interest is to be only a partner for you
Until one day, when they show their cards and you realize that they are making some BS moves
This is when you determine which category to place them in, or if you want to fold and get out of playing the game with them completely.
When playing a game with someone, you have your partner and you have your opponents.
In the game of life, it is up to you to determine who plays which role
However, in describing the partner role
This person plays side by side with you, putting all their interest in what is best for the both of you and doing it all with their focus on winning this game together. Not many people are compatible to you or are capable of being your partner; therefore you have to choose wisely.
You have to place people in that partner seat, to play a couple rounds of the dating game to see if they are worthy of staying in this position.
As if they are not, and you notice that they are not with you, but are against you, making you feel like all they want to do is take your pawns and knights just to get closer to your Queen to toy with your emotions
This is when you realize that you’re playing with an opponent.
Here is where you place these people into categories
Now these categories can change from person to person
However, for me, I have the “I just want to screw you” category,
The “recyclable” category
The “I just want to be your friend” category
And last but not lease, The “disposable” category
Clearly these categories are self explanatory
But allow me to explain…
As mentioned, that partner position should always remain vacate unless one of the players prove themselves that they should not be categorized
Because if they do become categorized, you begin to see what purpose you can allow this person to have in you life, if any…
Who gives up the goods and show their cards.
Unfortunately, when you show what your working with, your opponent has the ability to toy with you, play with your emotions and completely make you believe that they are trying to help you win the game. I have been in this game for a long time now…and finally I have developed a new strategy. This strategy can be used for both men and women…but I’m a women, so here is my perspective…
My new strategy consists of categories. Think of it this way…
When you’re dating, the initial interest starts with someone that you are mainly focused on
Thinking in the beginning that they are all about you and their interest is to be only a partner for you
Until one day, when they show their cards and you realize that they are making some BS moves
This is when you determine which category to place them in, or if you want to fold and get out of playing the game with them completely.
When playing a game with someone, you have your partner and you have your opponents.
In the game of life, it is up to you to determine who plays which role
However, in describing the partner role
This person plays side by side with you, putting all their interest in what is best for the both of you and doing it all with their focus on winning this game together. Not many people are compatible to you or are capable of being your partner; therefore you have to choose wisely.
You have to place people in that partner seat, to play a couple rounds of the dating game to see if they are worthy of staying in this position.
As if they are not, and you notice that they are not with you, but are against you, making you feel like all they want to do is take your pawns and knights just to get closer to your Queen to toy with your emotions
This is when you realize that you’re playing with an opponent.
Here is where you place these people into categories
Now these categories can change from person to person
However, for me, I have the “I just want to screw you” category,
The “recyclable” category
The “I just want to be your friend” category
And last but not lease, The “disposable” category
Clearly these categories are self explanatory
But allow me to explain…
As mentioned, that partner position should always remain vacate unless one of the players prove themselves that they should not be categorized
Because if they do become categorized, you begin to see what purpose you can allow this person to have in you life, if any…
Eliciting Forbidden Opportunities
He has been watching me. Closely while unknowingly I focus on my work. He sits there staring and pondering on ways to pursue, to find out what this piece taste like…what I taste like that is. Smiles are exchanged although the meaning behind the two are very different…in the beginning. Starting off from the start, an occasional hello and slight flirtatious grind would be exposed, then it led to following me in the copy room, walking me to my car, taking me out to lunch, inviting me to late night events, and then asking for rides home…damn. The conversations between us two are always subliminal, trying not to exchange the true feelings of one another…as I started to develop a likeness for this character. His unexpected swagger and smooth speech slowly made an impression on my interest for him. Wishing sometimes that he would stay after work and take advantage of a situation that we both had desires for…hmmm. Yet, I knew that none of this could take place…this was our place of employment, this was a colleague, this was a person that watched me daily, noticing my characteristics, capturing my emotions and frustrations, acknowledging my hard work and yet in still, none of this seductive thinking could come into existence. We are two of different backgrounds, not that it was something that worries me…but it is different…although the thought of something different entices me to try him, to submit to him, to want him. I would comply to lunch dates where we would speak of our life’s situations, from start to finish, from good to bad, from relationship to kids. And on that point, he realizes that my life is easy…no children, no husband to call my own, living alone and wishing for the comfort of someone that interest me. Which brings me to my point, that this could never be, more than just a lustful thought, this could never exist as more than a flirty smile, this could never serve as more than just a friendship…more than just a sexual tension between a man and a woman in a workplace where he that watches me, is married, with two children and of a different race than I. This thought is limited to only the circuits that trigger the fantasies in my brain…although wishing it to be a reality without the consequences that would come after. Hmmmm….but what if….
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