Eliciting Forbidden Opportunities

He has been watching me. Closely while unknowingly I focus on my work. He sits there staring and pondering on ways to pursue, to find out what this piece taste like…what I taste like that is. Smiles are exchanged although the meaning behind the two are very different…in the beginning. Starting off from the start, an occasional hello and slight flirtatious grind would be exposed, then it led to following me in the copy room, walking me to my car, taking me out to lunch, inviting me to late night events, and then asking for rides home…damn. The conversations between us two are always subliminal, trying not to exchange the true feelings of one another…as I started to develop a likeness for this character. His unexpected swagger and smooth speech slowly made an impression on my interest for him.  Wishing sometimes that he would stay after work and take advantage of a situation that we both had desires for…hmmm. Yet, I knew that none of this could take place…this was our place of employment, this was a colleague, this was a person that watched me daily, noticing my characteristics, capturing my emotions and frustrations, acknowledging my hard work and yet in still, none of this seductive thinking could come into existence. We are two of different backgrounds, not that it was something that worries me…but it is different…although the thought of something different entices me to try him, to submit to him, to want him.  I would comply to lunch dates where we would speak of our life’s situations, from start to finish, from good to bad, from relationship to kids. And on that point, he realizes that my life is easy…no children, no husband to call my own, living alone and wishing for the comfort of someone that interest me. Which brings me to my point, that this could never be, more than just a lustful thought, this could never exist as more than a flirty smile, this could never serve as more than just a friendship…more than just a sexual tension between a man and a woman in a workplace where he that watches me, is married, with two children and of a different race than I. This thought is limited to only the circuits that trigger the fantasies in my brain…although wishing it to be a reality without the consequences that would come after. Hmmmm….but what if….