I'm Ready

The love of my life that was once lost has now been found deep in my heart. I have learned that my suppressed emotions of love have been stored in a sacred place, not realizing that it would be revealed by the one that I have once loved. He stepped into my life like a new creature of existence. He came back into my life and brought back every feeling that I have never felt before. Its so impossible to ignore even though I have tried over and over again to prevent the expression of how I really feel…but I can’t take this anymore. I want him back in my life. Over the two years of us not being together, I’ve come to understand that love is the true feeling of which I felt for this man. He has the ability without his own knowing…that he motivates me, he brings joy into my life, he makes me forget about all the problems of my life, he uplifts my spirits when he is around, and the sexual events of our connection sends signals of adoration to my mind, he stimulates my heart that is linked to my mind but ultimately thrives within my soul, he has given me someone to love affectionately and I didn’t know that then….but I know that now and I just don’t see my life without him. How is it that I have never understood or acknowledged this feeling before? Why was I so afraid of such a strong desire of internal connection with someone that I feel should belong to me. I’m ready to be in love again, all I need is for him to love me back and we would have that equally yoked existence I have always yearned for. He is such a beautiful person, funny, handsome, goal oriented, wants more out of life and out of himself, family oriented and knows how to treat a woman. How did I let him go in the first place? As I think back on the times of our previously existing relationship, I now recognize how much he actually meant and means to me. But now as we are in the present, our friendship has developed into something more than what was developed in the past…which builds on stronger and substantial feelings that I can honestly say makes me into a better person. I feel feelings now…and those of whom I have met after him, I have had no type of feelings of importance towards them…more so fulfilling a void that I was missing…taking up space to entertain me and provide me with an imaginary yearning for companionship with them. Sex, lies, deceit and lack of true and unconditional love was what was bestowed upon me while engaging in communication with these bunnies. Bunnies are men that provide nothing more than a nice thing to look at and play with for a short period of time until someone of importance and meaningful existence comes along and grabs your attention. Its unfortunate that these bunnies had to come into my life and at times bring me to a point of total disgust with myself. Now I understand that they have really given me reason to appreciate men like that one I want back. He brings life into me and now I want that again, is that too much to ask? But the bottom line is….I love him more than he knows….and if he asks me…..my response will be that I’m ready….ready to love again.