What is this?

Too many times before have I walked down this road
Feelings of doubt and untrusting conscious
Unconsciously pulling away from something that hasn’t proven itself to be untrue
Moments of bliss transform into insecurities
Believing that this could not be what its face value reveals to me
Knowing that what is display towards me is deserved
Yet I am afraid of what the possibilities of an open heart could bring forth
I know my limits and I seek an undefined love
But the journey of the unknown is beyond my comfort zone
What is this?
His affectionate behaviors and gentle but manly manners has drawn my attention
Attentively concentrating on the positive
In hopes that this man does not transition into something different
What is it to feel happy?
Overwhelming emotions causing contagious smiles to occur
Reflecting on the interactions with him interchangeably smiling back at me
The physical touch of his hands soothes the stresses of my mind
Allowing enjoyable thoughts to now encompass it
His actions are consistent with his words
And his words are beyond the average minded former experiences of my past
Which makes being in his presences just that more pleasurable
What is this?
Could it be that he is falling for me?
Yet who am I to fall for when the doors to my heart aren’t widely open
Could it be that his patience is allowing time to past
Giving me the opportunity to unlock the corridors of my emotional connection
Allowing me a chance to see what he has intended for a future of his leadership
Is this the numerical expression of 143?
Is this what luv is suppose to be?
What this is has got to be something for me
Because its feels so good
It feels so real
But what this is, is causing my heart to heal
Giving it an opportunity for new exposure to something/someone that will cherish what gifts it brings
Whatever this is, is undefined by me.