Nightmares on Dating Street

Here we go again, walking down this road of liking someone Wow…just to think, I haven’t really “liked” someone in a long time Without the feeling of disappointment encompassing my brain before I was able to progress forward to opening my heart Its unfortunate how many guys I have dated and have written off within the last year. It almost makes me wonder… A few of my friends have been telling me lately, “girl, would you please just settle for one person and not run at the first sign of trouble…or the first sign that he shows that is disapproving to you” And I laugh, because I sit back and think about the last few guys that I have dated I’ve re-evaluated the situations and when I look back, I would have done the same thing today as I did weeks or even months ago when I let them go. I understand that my rotation is constantly in movement and no one seems to retain… But we must ask the question, why? The last guys I have dated, lets see…

Mr. I’m a sexy Police Officer….yeah, he was just that…a sexy police officer that I didn’t give a damn if he was a police officer or a chef at a restaurant, I cared about how you treated me as a woman. And this dude was so warped in his looks and what he does for a living (since other women was always in his face) that he acted like an asshole to me. Blatant disregard for me, my time and who I was “suppose to be to him”.

Now is that someone you would want to keep around you and “work things out” for the sake of giving him a chance? Don’t get me wrong, I did allow multiple occurrences of his assholish tendencies but I couldn’t take the disrespect any longer…so he had to go…simple as that…NEXT!!!

Then there was Mr. College Crush…yeah…sexy, good looking, body out this world, but he wanted to play me like a fool. He wanted to play of “well we have known each other since freshman year in college, we’re friends…I don’t understand why we haven’t had sex yet”…yeah nigga…you wondering why we haven’t had sex yet and you can’t wrap around in your head that you’re soooo attractive and you can’t see why any woman would not want to screw you…but here is the thing…you live with a another woman and her daughter, you then got into an argument with her and decided you wanted to ask me if you can live with me for a few days (without telling me the entire situation) but we don’t even speak regularly and you place emphasis on having sex with me majority of the time we do speak….but you wonder why I haven’t had sex with you and don’t want to have sex with you? That’s funny….

so I’ll pose this question….would you want to be with someone that jumps from house to house living with other women and someone that doesn’t even communicate with you and if he does, its only to try to persuade you to have sex? Hmmmm…I think not…and my thoughts exactly…so what did I do…I moved the hell on…

Next there was Mr. Best Friend….the one that stood it out for the long haul…lets say 10 years or more…claiming to be the one for me…and wanting me to be the one for him…I can’t say that I was immediately attracted to him and quite honestly, I can’t say that I ever was truly physically attracted to him….which that’s the honest truth…either way, we had a friendship that I thought would last a life time, even if we never ended up as a couple. However, when that day came when I looked beyond the physical appearance and saw him for who I thought he really was…even with me knowing that I always saw him a different than any other guy that I have dated or befriended…I never categorized him. Until that day, when we decided to see where the other side would take us…and his whole demeanor, attitude and treatment towards me negatively changed. He placed himself in a category with the other guys. After all the years spent chasing after me and telling me a mouth full of lies about how much he wanted to be with me, after he got the cookies, now you don’t want to be with me? Now you want to see whats out there….cool……Yeah I was hurt, yeah I couldn’t believe the tables were turned on me…but after all that was said and done…I thought I had a friend…even if we never were to be together…I thought my “friend” would know how to handle a situation as sensitive as this and we would deal with it….but not the case. I can’t even remember the last time we talked and to me, that’s a shame.

Either way, friends come and go and in your life for reasons and seasons and this reason was clear and the season was over…so…again, it left me with no other choice but to take this opportunity to move on.

Then we had Mr. Lying Texas, the one who came off to be this perfect picture. Easy on the eyes, professional, mature, nice house, had a few things going on for himself…so I thought…so he made it out to be should I say. Someone that could talk that talk…had me truly believing in what he had to say. Ha… oh boy did I eventually begin to see.

Staying on topic but getting off of him for a second. To go back to my original statements…I have learned that when someone shows me themselves, I believe them. Its not hard to pick up on the things that people reveal to you…and it doesn’t take 3+ months to figure it out either…its just taking the time to see and removing the cloud of emotions that distracts you from seeing what is real.

Now back on Mr. Texas, this fool was just lying about everything…and for what reason…impressing me? What a fool. If anyone had a clue of how I was as a person, they would know that being yourself is what would get you close to me…but putting on fronts and becoming inconsistent in your behavior is nothing impressive to me and quite frankly it would cause me to move beyond you quicker than you know it. Either way, he just “bought” a house…but he sat here and tells me that he quit a 10 year job at a prestigious organization because he didn’t get the raise he thought he deserved…(by the way, with no other job to fall back on)…and this single bachelor had to move his sister and her 3 kids in his house because he quit his job…but everything in that house says his sister all over it. From decorations to pictures, to kids toys, to the smell…full of shit is what I thought. But I gave his ass the benefit of a doubt…as that is always requested of me to do. But it didn’t end there. His excuse for not taking me out on dates is because he was broke, but he decided to take a trip to Jamaica with his “guys” but while he was on this so called male bonding vacation, pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend appear on facebook with him and her on an island together…laying on the beach. Hmmmm….now I could be the dumb blonde and say, I should trust that he is where he said he is…and let it be that. But hell naw…my brain wouldn’t allow me to be that stupid. So when he gets back in town, all of a sudden the pictures are removed from facebook and his excuse was that those were old pictures and he didn’t want her tagging him on pictures, so he removed the photos. I think that was the last straw for me. Oh yeah, and besides the fact that he told me…”I’m not really consistent at all, you just have to take me for whatever I give”….and that was it.

Nothing more was needed to be said to me…and in my mind, it was already in the trash can when he lied about the whole job and owning his own home….just to find out later that his sister actually owned the home and that he was just house sitting when I came to visit from time to time. But you want me to give this dude a chance and let him get the benefits of getting to know me intimately and exclusively…HELL NAW!

There was this one guy that I can honestly say that I wish that I would have taken more time with him before I wrote him off. He was a really good guy…lets call him Mr. Playing it Safe. He was an awesome guy to me, he treated me well, catered to me, communicated with me and wanted nothing more but to be with only me. What more could you ask for right? Unfortunately, wrong…for me at that time. Three months before I met him, I had just relinquished the ties between me and my ex-boyfriend (which you all know as X) and I just wasn’t mentally ready for another relationship. I wanted things to go slow…and he was damn near ready for marriage after two months. It scared me, and I didn’t know what to do but run. I wanted to love him, and genuinely wanted to be with him…but he wanted more from me than what I was able to give emotionally at that time, and I didn’t know what else to do. I always considered my time as valuable and the time of others as well…so he was a good fish I had to throw back in the water for someone else to grab because I wasn’t ready for him and I didn’t want to waste his time with my insecurities and unsure feelings towards him. But fortunately, after we decided to part ways, he met someone else, that was ready for him and now they are engaged. Its been just under a year since we have dated and I think about him from time to time, but at the end of the day…I am happy that he is happy…and that’s all that I would want for him. That’s one good guy that’s no longer on the market and I hope the woman he is with, is someone that appreciates him just as I am sure he appreciates her.

So…what does that mean for us? We turn the page and move to the next chapter.

And the next chapter was unfortunate for me, because that’s when I met Mr. Taste of Chicago. This guy was cool, charismatic and laid back type of dude. But here is what I picked up right away. This guy had no consistent job, lived with his little cousin in a studio apartment, no car and barely had enough money to pay for himself on a date that he took me out on….go figure. Then shortly after that, he surprises me with the announcement that he has a daughter on the way…and I’m supposed to be ok with all that? He had a daughter on the way and he could barely feed himself…WTF! I wasn’t having that…that was too much drama and he couldn’t do anything for me…let alone hold a conversation with me that didn’t consist of him telling me about the fifty million things he wants to do…such as…I want to be a police officer, I want to be a singer, a model, a producer, a artist, a entrepreneur, a whatever else he decided to come up with at the time…or moreso whatever the topic of discussion was, he wanted to be something like that. No sense of direction, no drive to focus on one particular thing and do that well.

So of course, do you really think he was worthy of continuing my interest? That was a rhetorical question.

Which leads me to my next candidate. I haven’t gotten a name for him as of yet, since this is relatively still knew. I’ll have to wait on my critique about him until I have more information. But I will say this…I like him. And I really do hope things will work out. As you can see my dating scene has been a nightmare and I would rather not walk down this road again, because its more than a notion letting your hair down for someone that wants to play with your emotions. So hopefully, my next post will be something that I can look back on and say…I’ve come a long way…and maybe this dating thing isn’t so bad…but for now…stay tuned.