A dreaming satisfaction (part 2)

Last night was an experience of much disappointment. I opened the door of my dwelling to a pathetic loser I once was attracted to. Oddly enough, I was mentally in tuned to the thoughts of missing him, yet my heart was not exposed as it once was when in his presence. He changed…for the worst in the opinion of mine…wanting only to be friends without the limitation of sex. Dreadfully so, I wanted the long seductive kisses…I yearned for the rhythmic insertions of his chocolate stiff and extended gift…I was intensely submissive to the tasting of my duplicate circles of pleasure and love below. But in this moment, I wanted nothing of the sort. We sat to discuss the demise of our once imitate essence…exposing our wrongs and emphasizing my hurts. His reactions were nothing more than an acknowledgment of my statements…no responsibility was taken or apology given. Instead, the saying of I can’t handle a relationship right now was more than I could handle at the time. I wanted nothing more but for him to leave my presence….as my purpose was limited to late night visits and short calls requesting moments to lay with me. I let him in…into my apartment- my comforting space, into my life -flustering my emotions, into the very essence of my being- my body. Love was not lost because it was never gained, but I was open and exposed more than I would have liked to…I liked him. Yet in still, he had to leave. I opened the door signifying my want for him to exit…he complied. The distance grew between one another as his footsteps lead to the outside; I closed that door…that was the ending of that connection…that vibe of sexuality. I wanted more and more is what was deserved.

But was that truly the end????