He is Love

To many times before, have I walked down this road
Looking for something that wants to be hidden
I’m searching for a component that is missing
Love is what I sought after
But lust and heartbreak was what was found
I have leaned into my own understanding
Wishing for more than a late night orgasm
Craving for more than a short insubstantial conversation
Yearning for the stay into morning
I have lost my mind in the journey to finding love
Losing my mind to men that seek nothing more but to internally destroy me
Tearing away the uniqueness of my beauty
Beauty in the underlining meaning of He who is within me
I have become settled
As I have settled for less than what was deserved
Attempting to satisfy a craving for unconditional adoration
Convenience is what I proclaimed it to be
Masking the true nature of what I wanted it to be
Yet in still, pieces of me were being given away at no price
Even though the worth of me was priceless
I wanted more and more was what I needed
I needed something to gratify my want for intimacy
As often times the thoughts of sexual fantasies began to explore in my imagination
While the vibration of toys began the stimulation
Orgasmic release occur multiple times yet satisfaction was non-existent
I was still missing something
Keeping busy was what the wise woman said to me
Claiming that to be the answer to my exploration of love
Yet when the demanding events being to decelerate
My mind begins to unconsciously explore again
Thinking of all the aspects of what makes love love.
And verifying if love was something I had in me to give
I have been penetrated by hurt
I was angered by all the lost lusts that has came across my existence
Not understanding why it was me that they decided to do harm
I thought I was in love
I risked it all believing in something that was suppose to believe and want me
My cards were laid out on the table and I still lost the game
What more could one person do?
I was willing to play the role
Compromise, Communicate and Compensate for the things I may have lacked
But his concentration was on nothing I had to offer
So now I’m back at square one
Starting this journey all over again
Although this time, I was determined to learn the lesson that was discovered
My focus was directed to the wrong man
Never realizing that the foundations I tried to build lacked depth and substance
I didn’t have the right tools to succeed in this finished product of love
Back to my new journey at hand, my focus was now on me
Building MY foundation to make this one person complete
This new man that I have found was nothing like what was once revealed before
Late night conversations of universal subjects of matter
He wanted to speak to me everyday, all day…with no hesitation or notions of being busy
I was comforted in the mid-night hour, feeling safe that no one would ever harm me while He was in my presence
His patience and understanding nature was more than any woman could ask for
As I knew for myself that I was not perfect
Yet he was willing to love my flaws and all
He knew me without me having to tell him anything
He knew when I was sad, mad, and happy
He encompassed my mind so much that sex was less of a burden
When I asked, he would deliver with no questions asked
Yet as all of that was indeed perfect…I had moments of temptation to seek men outside of our relationship
Wanting to see if the grass was greener on the other side
And even though I had times of disloyal behaviors, He always found a way to pull me back into Him
He allowed me to experience the other side as it was my decision
Just so that I may be able to appreciate Him more when I returned
He is more to me than what I was searching for
As love has no limitations or boundaries
My expedition to finding love has been found
Because I have found God and He is love.