There comes a time in everyone’s life where you have to put your pride to the side and be the bigger person. Even in times where you are not the person that’s doing wrong, you have to take on the responsibility of maintaining the peace.
I have had to be the bigger person on so many occasions that I almost feel like I am due for being the little person. I am yearning so much to curse someone out for cutting me off in the middle of my sentences, or bust someone’s windows out for taking advantage of me, or simply tell someone how I really feel without considering their feelings or emotions. Its almost like I’m ready to release this crazy B!#$% that’s boiling inside me for taking so much from other people. Don’t you know that movie, what’s it called…..Me, Myself and Irene, yeah that’s what it is…I almost feel like Jim Carrey when that Hank character came out. I know its funny, but seriously.
I have always been the calm one, trying to maintain order and harmony in my family, in my workplace, with my friends and so on and so forth. Even in times of frustration, I either cry in solitary, write a blog post or journal entry, pray….or punch this punching bag that has really seen the best of me. But all in all, I still think about those moments were certain individuals have taken advantage of me, hurt my feelings, backstabbed me, lied to me, wasn’t there for me…and the list goes on. And the kicker is that once I initially forgive them, they persist to perform the same behaviors as before. Now, of course…I keep my distance from people that continue to do wrong towards me…but for some odd forsaken reason…more and more people of that same caliber keeps coming my way. And its unfortunate that the new people might get the short end of the stick when it comes to my alter-ego being released in moments of high pissness (my new word).
So that means I’m tired of being Ms. Nice Girl…always smiling…always making sure others are happy and in a good place. Let’s see if someone else will take on this role while I dibble dabble into my own little world of being the mean girl. I am very much aware of the consequences of having an attitude…I have seen it in other people all the time. People tend to not like you, people get attitudes back at you, sometimes you get in trouble depending on who the attitude is directed to…yeah yeah yeah…I know the drill. I’m going to even go as far as to mention…the whole perspective of “when keeping it real goes wrong”.
Now let’s reflect….just that pervious paragraph sounds like a retarded female that is lost in the allusion of believing that having an attitude has some type of positive result on changing the negative attitudes of others that are directed towards her. Sad to say though, many people feel that way though. In my case, yeah I do think about punching people in the face for saying stupid stuff to me, or belittling people that think they are so much above me just so that they may understand the level I’m on, or crushing a man’s ego because he didn’t want to be with me or took advantage of me. But all those emotions and feelings come into play based off of things not going my way.
I am learning more and more that I cannot control anyone’s actions but my own and being the bigger person is just in my “make up”. I can’t allow myself to belittle someone because they have said something that was unfitting to me. Instead, I smile and encourage them to focus on things that matter and I keep it moving. What good will is it to belittle someone that is obviously on a level at which they don’t want to be on; therefore they say things to you to make you feel bad. Why not encourage them to want more and focus on things of positivity so that we can have more people in the world that has some sense. What good would it do to punch someone in the face because they hurt my feelings? Even after you punch them, that punch will still not show the same amount of pain you might feel from the emotional hurt that they have done to you. So instead, chalk that shit up, learn from it, grow from it and once again…keep it moving…live a little more of your life and more people will hurt your feelings…can’t punch every person…you’ll go to jail for that. What good would it do to crush a man’s ego because he may have bruised your self-esteem due to taking advantage of you and emotionally leading you on? It may feel good to say all the penetrating things on your mind to make him feel bad and low…but making him feel bad and low will just add him to the group of other males that has no clue of how to handle relationships…I would rather let me know how my feelings were hurt and hope that one day he won’t do it to the next female that comes along. I want growth and development from these men out here…so what is the point in making things worst?
Either way, the thought of making someone else feel the same way they make I feel is always something that I think about from time to time. I think about those things because I know I can do the same damage to them in return. But only a person of strong mindedness, discipline and of calm manners has the ability to not allow someone else to control my mannerism. Even to the point of saying “Look you stupid @$$, if you keep FU&^ing with me I am going to FU up” and then smile…and walk away. As a matter of fact, I might just use that line…it’s a forewarning right? Man if I was really comfortable with cursing people out, it would then come so easy to say something like that to someone. But instead, I maintain my silence as I’m learning that silence can be so much more powerful that using words, being able to communicate effectively my needs and wants is considered keeping it real…and this is what constructively makes someone the bigger person when “Keeping it Real Goes Right”.
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